A Little Place Called "SPECIAL"

I grew up in a place called "Typical".  It was a nice place, with typical neighborhoods, typical homes and for the most part, typical people.  My family was typical.  My friends were typical.  And life was good.  Now this is not to say it was perfect.  Oh no...that's a completely different place.  "Perfect" is a place most have only dreamed of and very few, if any, have ever been.  Unlike in "Perfect", we had our fair share of problems.  But our problems were usually typical.

Most of our friends and family still live in "Typical".  But, not us.  When our son was born, we moved to a place called "Special".  It is a much smaller place with a very different lifestyle from that of "Typical". Growing up I had heard of this place but knew few who lived there.  It was a place where others lived.  A place where I would never have to go.  A place I now call home.

A mother's day in "Typical" looks much different from one in "Special".  We don't prep dinner, we prep medications, feeding bags and dressing change supplies.  We don't run our kids to soccer, dance class or a friends house.  Our kids are run to therapies, doctors appointments and more therapies.  We don't vacation in Disney or on an island, but travel to various hospitals around the country in search of answers.  Most of our visitors are home nurses or case managers. Most deliveries are medical or feeding supplies.  Most phone calls are to doctors, insurance companies, lawyers and therapists, not friends.  And our "social" time often takes place venting to and seeking advice from other parents while sitting in waiting rooms or at therapy.

Now this is not to say that I don't ever visit "Typical".  Most of my friends are there and it is the escape I often need.  Because of such loving family and friends, I still feel I belong some times, but it feels different. It no longer feels like home.

I can't say I always love living in "Special". I honestly wish no one had to live here. But it has become my home, my son's home and my families home and I have learned to embrace it.  I have developed friendships with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.  I am stronger, wiser and kinder because I live here. This place has defined who I am and has made me a better person.  I can no longer imagine living anywhere else.  And no matter how rough the days may be or how much weight I carry on my shoulders I am forever grateful that I don't live in a place called "Grief".